I don’t know any guy who spent most of his time thinking about the day he’s going to propose to his girlfriend even when he knows he’s going to marry the girl. Let me share with you how it happened to me. Chidinma and I had begun our courtship and we knew we were going to get married, but I wasn’t thinking about which day of the month and which events would lead to the proposal; I knew through my ‘guy mind ’ just like how ladies know some things about guys that they can’t explain (am I being stereotypical here?) that she had begun planning the wedding in her heart.
I feel like men go about their daily routine and then (ghen ghen) one random day we get hit by the proposal fever, when all of a sudden, we call our closest allies to inform them that we are strongly considering proposing. That was exactly what happened to me.
When I caught the proposal bug, I began my secret mission to acquire all the necessary information through her close friends on the type of ring she had always spoken about, the size etc. I was amazed at the level of detail Chidinma and her friends had based on the detailed information I received. Again, I am yet to meet a guy who has detailed conversations with his friends about the type of wedding band he wants to wear on his wedding day.
Now that I had the information about the type of ring to buy, the next was how was I going to propose? There’s an African proverb which says that “when a lizards lands from an Iroko tree it praises itself by bobbing its head.” I feel like I should preach here! Let’s say that I was pleasantly proud of the achievement, she suspected that I had entered into the proposal season but still didn’t see it coming, nevertheless. Question to females, is it true that you ladies know when a guy is about to propose, what are the give-away signs?
I know what you’re thinking, so Tolu how did you propose to Chidinma? Since you asked me the question, I will tell you the headline. She was literally floating in the air when I asked her to marry me. Agreeing to journey life with me was one of the happiest days in my life.
Our first holiday together was a group trip to Marrakesh to celebrate the 5th birthday of one of our friends’ son. We also had the opportunity to record an unplanned pre-wedding video shoot by one of our friends Samon Films Aka Don of Kent. The captured video which shares a little more about how we met is on the YouTube page. Perhaps at some point I may write about this exciting trip, I remember there was a moment when one of our friends was going to fight a local to defend her husband.
We shifted to the next gear called wedding preparation, we observed that a sizeable number of couples planning their marriage journeys tend to spend most of their time on the wedding day and often neglect the journey that begins the day after the wedding day. We were intentional about this and in the midst of planning towards the traditional, legal and church wedding ceremonies, we attended Christian marriage counselling sessions, studied, fasted and prayed together about our future.
I believe that every relationship has its own rhythm and theme which directs the relationship. We learnt and worked to the rhythm and theme of our relationship which we discovered to be God, family and music underpinned with trueness to our identity. These became our compass and reflected in everything we did together. Our wedding theme was equally driven by these themes too.
My very first journey to the Eastern part of Nigeria was on an Igba Nkwu mission. Chidinma grew up in Owerri, we had a swell time as we semi-toured the town she grew up in.
Our Traditional wedding:
Our White wedding:
On the 22nd September 2016, Chidinma finally became my wife, whom I fondly called ‘Babey’ ‘Alayo mi’ or mostly Chidinma. And so the journey to forever began.
Ghen ghen: Equivalent to a loud, clear DRUMROLL announcing a showdown! It’s about to go down!
Ngba Nkwu: Formally known as Traditional marriage, is an Igbo customary way of marriage.
Guy Mind: In my mind as a guy.
To Be Continued Next Wednesday...
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